Graduating from Graduate school...really?

Well, it's about that time.  I ordered my cap and gown.  I even ordered a special alumni package because I thought that I would revel in a little school spirit.  I can't believe how quickly it's gone by.  I can't believe how much I feel like I've grown.  I'm so grateful I did it.  I'm proud of myself for doing so.  I recall how during the last 3 years I have wondered if I would ever make it to this day.  My journey has been mine, and it has been special. The first year I applied to graduate school, I applied to two schools: the University of Utah and BYU.  I didn't get in to either school.  The next year I applied to two schools, and I got into one.  However, when I stopped and thought about why I would want to go to school out in the middle of no where in Washington, I couldn't think of a reason.  Baffled, I turned the offer down.  And then, I got smart.  The third and final year I applied to graduate school, I applied to six schools. 

I remember the day I got a letter back from Colorado State University.  I eagerly opened the letter, excited to see what they had to say.  I felt warm and peaceful.  They had accepted me.  I was elated.  It was a strange thing, because I nearly gave up on the application to CSU.  They required twice as much material as any other school.  The essay that they wanted me to write was twice as long and more arduous than any other University's.  I thought it was ridiculous, "Who do they think they are?" I thought.  "They must think they are up there with an Ivy league school or something!"  The only reason I finished the application was because I had letters of recommendation for it.  So I pressed on, finishing every nitty gritty detail.  And I was accepted.  In that moment I knew that it didn't matter whether any other school accepted me or not, I knew where I wanted to go.  It was a beautiful feeling.  A blessing from heaven.

As I drove onto the campus of CSU a month later in my little car, I felt grateful.  So grateful.  Because I was living one of my dreams.  I had always wanted to be a counselor, even since I was in second grade.  I remember when Mrs. Jarvis had us draw pictures of what we wanted to be when we grew up.  I drew a picture of a therapist sitting in a chair, asking their comfortably situated client (who was, of course, laying on a couch) how they were feeling.  I have wondered so many times since my childhood if I could really do it.  And you know what, I have.  I am.  And that is awesome.  I may not know everything.  I may not be perfect.  But, I care and I am trying.  I am learning to love, accept, and trust myself and my capabilities. 

I remember that sunday school lesson from one of my first Sundays in Fort Collins.  It as about the Isrealites who marched around the walls of Jericho for six days playing their trumpets and horns.  And on the seventh day, they were told to yell and scream when they heard the sound of the trumpet.  And they did.  And as they did so, the walls of Jericho came tumbling down.  That story hit a place in my heart.  I felt like I had been marching around my Jericho, and that finally after three years (which I realize is not a really long time, however...it felt like an eternity for a waiting woman like me) the walls came tumbling down.  And in my life, as these walls have come down, I have been blessed to be among a very small percent of human beings who have the opportunity to gain higher education.  I have made special friends and found long lost loved ones I have yearned to have in my life for all my life.  I'm so glad.  And I have gained confidence and a greater sense of love for myself.  I've also gained a bit more debt...but hey, I'll pay that off for the rest of my life.  At least I'll have the option of a being a part of a career that I love.

Anyhow, I know this is quite sentimental.  And maybe a little cheesy.  But that's ok.  I'm ok with cheesy.  It feels good to reflect on this. 

So, here I am: a soon-to-be-graduating graduate student.  I'll make sure we take a lot of pictures.  I'll wear my cap and gown.  I'll speak at graduation.


My family will be here.   How nice.
 
I graduate on Friday, the 13th...that's not creepy at all.  Right?